Nelly in Deep Sh-

Picture the scene if you will; we’ve repaired Nelly after being tasted in the face by Pride Carbide, and we’ve finally sat down on the couch in the builders lounge for a well earned cup of tea. The absolutely lovely folks on the P1 team brought teabags aplenty with them to BattleBots, and my British derriere regards these people as heroes.

“I wonder who we’ll fight next?” Niels asks, chugging on his black coffee and laughing at the pathetic levels of caffeine in my own beverage.

“Deep Six would be fun.” Charlie says. At this point, I am unsure whether he’s still with us or not, owing to his consumption of five-hour energy drinks. His expression leads me to believe that he’s fast approaching the comedown stage and the tea isn’t cutting it. “If they hit our wedge in the right spot they’ll just Yeet themselves.”

At this point, the rest of the team isn’t looking at Charlie like he’s guilty of creating a Dutch Oven, so my own brain cogs start turning while I contemplate the idea.

I mean, it’s mad. It’s not just mad; it’s bat shit. Their spinner weighs a hundred pounds and their whole robot is taller than me. On the other hand, I kinda wanted to fight Tombstone, but this is unlikely until I git gudder. So what’s a little Deep Six between friends.

Oh look, Dustin’s sat over there, I notice.

“Hey Dustin, wanna bonk?” I ask him with a totally serious face.

“I’ll fight you.” He replies. Challenge accepted.

So we told production that we were ready to fight again, that we’d challenged Deep Six, and that they’d accepted. I figured they probably had plans for us… Maybe we’d get a non-spinner after being royally twatted by Rainbow. Then later in the day, the man with your fate in his hands comes out to announce the fights and..

“Nelly the Ellybot vs Deep Six. “

Cue the pits giggling, me smirking, and the arena cleaners grumbling that they don’t get paid enough for this bollocks.

TO BATTLE!!

Surely you joust…
Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

Nelly had two wedges. For ease sakes, we’ll call them “Tusks Wedge” and “Wedge Wedge.” Tusks Wedge, naturally, is the one with the holes at the front for the tusks. Wedge Wedge is a solid…..wedge. But it was damaged after Rainbow, and the welding repairs warped it so it didn’t reattach to Nelly properly. Against Deep Six, this would have been the preferable wedge to run, but as it didn’t mount properly onto the right wub-rail any more, we elected to run Tusk Wedge minus the tusks. I feel it goes without saying that the absence of the tusks was due to the state of the floor… which was probably about to get worse. (Famous last words…)

A N G E R Y Nelly is ready to Bonk!
Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

In a bold feat of technological wizardry, we added a lance to Nelly. All right I’m lying, it’s a pokey stick. But Lance sounds cooler okay!

This astonishingly cunning mechanical mastery was mounted onto Nelly’s Tusk Wedge with highly sophisticated gaffa tape. I mean, if Deep Six hit the Stick of Poke, it was coming off no matter how well we attached it. So who needs finesse.

Uh Oh
Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

Getting stuck on the floor got the battle off to a fantastic start for us. The hammer wasn’t working due to the receiver battery being flat after waiting in pre-battle purgatory for so long. So we couldn’t use Bonk Force to unstick ourselves. Oh, what to do.

“Dustin? Could you give us a wee nudge?”

Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

NOT THAT HARD YOU PACHYDERM PULVERIZING PILLOCK!!!!!!

Well, she’s still moving at least…. RETREEEEAT!

Turn around, rethink the plan. Don’t get stuck on the floor again. Keep moving.

OH SH*T THAT THING MOVES FASTER THAN WE THOUGHT

Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

This is going well.

Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

Was it the bulkhead, or the chunk out of the hammer arm which took out the light?” I ponder to myself whilst stifling my chortles out of sympathy for the team.

“Kiss me Kenny ❤ “
Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

It’s fairly obvious that repairs won’t be easy at this point, and I’ve still got to keep moving because getting stuck again would be a little inconvenient. There’s a chance we can topple this colossal unit over with a good shove, so kamikaze time it is!!

TALLY HO!

Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

Well it worked!!! …………Sort of.

Deep Six has definitely been Yeeted. And uh…

We ain’t got no movement.

Balls.

Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

The referee announced that this was a double KO situation and as such, it goes to the judges. At which point I was a thousand percent certain that Deep Six would take the win on damage. I mean, look at her…

Sorry about your floor.. And the light…and Nelly..
Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

Of course, Deep Six took the win. Bravo, Team Overboard, bravo. The state of my Ellybot and the weapon failure aside, that is trunks-down one of the most fun battles I’ve had in my life. The Internet seems to agree…

Jolly good show old bean!
Photo Credit: Dan Longmire

Damage report? Okay, get comfy….

One wrecked wedge
Deep Six said this bit tasted nice
One written-off hammer arm
Bent and bitten HARD
The guilty bulkhead which took out the arena light

We also lost an eye, but the picture is too gruesome and I simply can’t post it. Instead, I leave you with the news that our drive died because of a severed battery cable. We’re gonna work on that… Again.

At this point it’s fairly obvious that we’re not Top 16 material and hope to get back into the ring for exhibition fights. Most of the face which got torn off was actually salvageable, and there are few things you can’t achieve without gaffa tape and some insufferable optimism.

The LEM was damaged, though not beyond repair. For the sake of getting back in the ring quickly, we swapped it out for our spare. The hammer arm was a write-off so we switched to our spare for that too. Fixed the battery cable, charged the receiver battery, spent a good two hours putting tyres on our worn-down wheels.. She drove like a dream in the test box afterwards, though. Thanks to HUGE for the donation!

A full day’s worth of graft later and Nelly was driving and bonking again. All we needed was a new eye….

At time of writing, I don’t know if we’ll be on again, so I can’t share any pictures of Nelly’s next incarnation… But I leave you with the knowledge that the Pet Cemetery took good care of her, and we made some small changes to her butt:

As ever, a big thank you to our sponsors 3D Print Direct UK and ASG Group LTD.

A big shout out to the AMAZING photography skills of Tony Woodward.

It was worth it for the Lols.

Conclusion: We only lost 50% of her face this time, so that’s a solid improvement!

Eh, it was a giggle!
Photo Credit: Tony Woodward

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